M is for the Many Years I Waited for You!

Dear Henry,

This weekend I loved you up on my very first Mother's Day of all times. Daddy treated me to a one of a kind Heather floral arrangement. IT IS BEAUTIFUL and I felt so special, not to mention it was an added treat to have Heather hand deliver it! That was on Friday. Grandma P and Crappaw got me a pretty Lady in Red Hydrangea, I got many cards, warm calls and comments onFacebook all to wish me a special day. Sunday morning Daddy told Mommy he really needed something from the dinning room. Daddy hardly EVER goes into the dining room, and when Mommy got there she saw a pretty black and white bag. I took it back to the bedroom and opened it. It was a shiny silver locket with our baby boy's initials and birth date engraved on the back. Daddy is so sweet! Now I just have to choose two photos to stick in my locket. I melted...and it was the first moment of the day that I felt emotionally overwhelmed.

We all got up and you and I went to church at St. Paul's. Daddy still doesn't have a van to get around in, although we're working on it, so he stayed home. Mommy has fond memories of standing in church with her mommy, daddy and brother. I would study my daddy, how he would stand really tall and stretch his neck up, force his jaw forward and tilt his head back and listen. I would inspect how tall I came up to him each week making note of when I had grown a bit, feeling proud of myself while holding his big paw. My mommy would let me sit on her lap until I was nearly as tall as her and spilling over all over and she would mouth the words rather than sing out loud. My brother, Uncle Gary, would poke at me or try to get me to laugh at someone else. I loved those times so I was happy to take you.

Mass was great this week. Great music and Father Bob has such insight and compassion in his homilies. Mommy had a really hard time holding it together. My first Mommy's Day and my life had come full circle. When it came time to express peace to each other and I reached out to the man behind me for my first handshake I had a flash of my daddy, Crappaw, teaching me how to shake hands. He wanted me to be a strong woman and not have a fishy handshake. I've passed this along to many students over the years and they've come back to tell me many times over that it was the best lesson and people always look impressed when they shake hands. But as I put you over my should in one arm and reached forward, I felt whole and I was crying because I had waited to teach my kids those lessons one day and here I was with my baby boy on Mother's Day. As I knelt after I received communion, and you your first blessing, I thought about J, your birthmother, and hoped that she was enjoying her day with Tommy

and Uriah because my special day was all due to her courage and love for you... she made the ultimate mother choice to place you where she felt you would have the best chance to thrive and grow to be your best self, as hard as it would be for her. This encourages me to become my best self. The ending song did me in. Mommy was exhausted but uplifted as I grabbed my cookie and juice on the way out. You were a little gentleman during the entire mass and even did your man size belches during the loud moments of the songs so it wouldn't disturb the service. Although, Mommy will not lie, she secretly debated with herself for about 5 minutes if God would think it as funny as I did if you did burp during the quiet time too. I won't tell you the answer I came up with for fear someday it might come back to bite me... I've said too much!

Mommy and Daddy sent J a card from the three of us and I wrote about my love and appreciation to her and we later spoke on the phone. She wished me a happy Mother's Day with such genuine enthusiasm I was moved again.

We came home and found Daddy takin' a nap. We let him sleep a while and enjoyed cuddling on the couch. Then we spent the rest of the day hanging out with Daddy until Brook, Corey and Lily made their first visit. That's for another post....

I had such a happy day. Thanks to you in my arms, J in my heart and Daddy always supporting me and letting me know how special I am to him. The best part, there isn't just one of these special days...there are MANY MANY more to come for me, even the day in and day out stuff.

The flowers are wonderful but it is what is beyond the flowers that really made my first Mother's Day important.
I love you,
Mommy