Sunday, September 30, 2012

A Little Ditty About Henny and the Coug.

Dear Henny, 
We had a lovely afternoon together with lunch starting at The Bake House.  You were being so sweet, despite concerns your seat with Daddy wasn't available because he had Hazel in the carrier.  You were being such a good lil dude and you had a dollar in your pocket so we stopped in at the candy store and got a few gummies.  After we came out of the candy store we heard bag pipes.  You love a walk on campus so we went toward the bag pipes.  As we reached the IU sample gates you sat on the planter to dig into your bag of gummies.  Mommy looks up and sees JOHN COUGAR MELLENCAMP!  What!  So exciting!  He was just standing there looking Johnny Cougary chit chatting with a small group of people and a bag pipe player.  



Mr. Cool with his switch blade comb.
As we started walking to campus and the small group was moving toward campus too I also saw my girlhood lady crush Meg Ryan. I thought she was the coolest on Guiding Light as Beth.  As we are walking I ask a lady, who I think is her mom, what is the occasion as there seemed to be a somber air.  She said that it was to dedicate a tree to Mrs. Mellencamp's scholarship.  So we dropped back a bit, sat on a bench and hung out.  A beautiful afternoon complete with our first and only celebrity sighting in Bloomington.  Ms. Ryan is also an adoptive mom and I had always hoped to run into her and ask if Daisy needed kids to play with while in Bloomington.  Daddy said that might make me sound a little creepy, he is likely right.
Love, Mommy

Welcome to Hazel's Room!

Dear Hazie Mazie, 
Since we learned of your impending arrival and matched with your birthmom WW we started preparing your room.  I got it painted days before you rushed things.  The trim is white, three grey walls and one coral wall.  We still need some more things for your walls but we are choosing with carefully.  The two end tables we picked up at a hotel garage sale and painted them white, the dresser Grandma P and Bahboo found at a garage sale and sanded it down for Mama so she could stain it.  I love the dresser!  
The giraffe on the dresser was a gift from Lily and Brook and the print from Mike and Megan.  The bunny is your special bunny that you share with your birthmom WW (for a later post) as Henry shares sock monkey with JoJo.  The rocker was Grandma P's and she rocked Mama and Uncle Gary in it as babies.  Henny and I made the crib rail covers ourselves to conceal his bite marks.  

The pillow on the bed was from Great Aunt Judy, she loved to do cross stitch.  
Oh look! There you are too, next to the doll Mama made for you.  Love to have you occupy that space sweet pea.
Love, Mama

Saturday, September 29, 2012

The First Hazel

Dear Hazel (and Henny), 
Just weeks before you were born Hazel, Daddy's grandma Hazel or GG had grown more and more weak after a year of living with cancer growing in her body she and was finally ready to let go of this world.  We sat with her for near a week.  She was excited about the baby girl coming into our lives soon and concerned for you birth mama WW.  The last real exchanges we had she woke up for a moment and asked how Henry was.  She told me what a good boy he is and that she loves him.  Then she asked if the baby was born and if they (being you Hazel and WW) were okay.  I told her it had only been a day and you (Hazel) weren't born yet and you (Henny) were fine with staying with Grandma P and Bahboo.  GG Hazel was a pretty amazing woman.  I spoke at her funeral and we tried to honor her by naming our baby girl after her.  It is a tall order but we hope that you will become the strong woman she was.  I loved her so, and feel pain as I think that you will never be held by her, taste her noodles and cookies or read through catalogs and books together.  We are grateful Henry did get to experience this.  The funeral was hard for Henny and it came across in quiet ways.  Henny expressed confusion after his first visit back to the house she shared with Grandma LaJean. Hen said he went in there and she just wasn't there.  Hen also resisted calling baby sister by her name but as we talked about it in a few days he told us that, "we had a Hazel and she is dead."  For now Henny calls you Boingy Furry instead.  As more time passes he says Hazel every so often.  For Daddy and I a big hole is left.  She loved you Hazel, before you were even born and had compassion for your birth mom.  

Henry you were her light and she longed to see you more and more as she knew she wasn't going to be around much longer.  She encouraged her Henry to do the things at her place we might not allow. Fun things.  The last day she was aware you went and got the box of twinkies out of the pantry. She wasn't really eating at all, that was until you brought your twinkie to her and split it with her.  She ate her half.  She couldn't turn down her Hen.

At her funeral her casket had a little rose wreath with one rose for each great grandchild.  In the center of the lavender was a small little rose bud, for you, the sweet girl that was on her way any day.  GG was trying to hold on to meet you.  I know that.  She had so much love for the little sweet pea yet to grace us.  


The following is what I read to honor her at her funeral.  It is long but I wanted to keep it safe somewhere other than my hard drive.  It isn't edited but if you've started to read Mama's blog you already know my mechanics are beyond atrocious.  My defense is going to be it was intended to be spoken not read.  Many people besides you read the blog and may remember the posts about GG Hazel and may enjoy reading it too.

I was so fortunate to have her in my life.
Love, Mama 
(Any of the photos can be clicked on to make larger)
___________________________________________________________________________________
It is a beautiful thing to know that Grandma Hazel and Grandpa Carl are together again; a love that carried Hazel even in her final days, a love that shaped her life and her faith. They met because 18 year old Hazel “needed” to know the handsome ball player driving that cool Ford Coupe, and her cousin Lila could do the introducing.
Ironically enough, their first date in the fancy car became derailed when said car wouldn’t start! About a year later they were married anyway, that was 1937. She entered the marriage a beautician with her own shop and growing list of clients. About 5 years later they had Ruthanne and 5 years after that Marilyn Jean. Days after Jean’s 5th birthday Hazel received the worst news a 34 year old mother of 2 could get. There had been an accident at work that took Carl’s life. He delivered heating oil to homes and on the way to a house his truck was hit by a train and exploded.  Ruthie 10, remembers that on many nights after their mom tucked them to bed hearing her crying in the other room, asking for God’s strength and support to get through to another day. God did give her strength and each day she got up, worked in her own shop and cared for her daughters. On one difficult night she opened her hymnal and randomly the hymn 
 “Commit Whatever Grieves Thee” presented itself....
“Commit whatever grieves the.
Into the gracious hands
Of Him who never leaves thee.
Who heav’n and earth commands.
Who points to clouds their courses,
Who winds and waters obey
He will direct thy footsteps
And find for thee a way.”
The words gave her comfort and the fortitude to be the strongest she could be, to move forward as a mother and small business woman in a time when this was not
the norm nor expected. Hazel was the first to say that her family and friends helped her often but her humility doesn’t negate the growth in her faith and resolve it took for her to keep on keeping on. She leaned on her oldest daughter Ruthanne during her young years. A tough thing but they grew very close. Ruthanne cherishes the times they crawled into bed together, having many chats, sharing time and worries. In a tender moment just before Hazel’s passing Ruthanne crawled into bed for a special cuddle. For a single mother feeling unsure she was proud of her daughters’ accomplishments. The tragic events which solidified her connection with God also became an important part of her girls’ lives too.
Perhaps it was the experience with Carl’s death and her faith that created Hazel’s deeply caring and merciful nature toward those in need. Hazel’s faith instilled a giving and thankful spirit. The smallest helpful notion toward her ensured a pie, apple crisp, noodles or cookies; a labor of love for her and a most personal sign of gratitude for who you are and what you mean to her.
Her granddaughter, Jenn recounted her respect for grandma when Hazel announced her retirement and her clients told Hazel they still needed her she agreed to still see them in her home, never wanting to disappoint. It was hard for Hazel to lose her last client a few years ago.
Daddy and Great Grandma Hazel
When Hazel committed to something she kept to it. She was dependable and honorable in that way. She showed her care and concern through visits to her loved ones in need, cards, phone calls and food! You can’t talk about your mom, grandma, aunt, friend Hazel Meyer and not mention her food! I’d venture to guess every family in this room received a pie, cookies, ham salad, sloppy joes or some form of her delicious creations. When my husband Steven was ill this year I didn’t want to leave his side at the hospital. I spoke with Hazel on the phone and it was so hard for her not to be able to visit him and she worried for me. She made me a little mason jar of green, one of our favorites to share together. I couldn’t eat them. I didn’t want them to go away. I sat them on the ledge of the window and kept them close to remind myself that Hazel was praying for us and if any prayers were to be heard it would be hers. My dad and I were joking the other day about what kind of tribute would be fitting for such a one of a kind lady. Our laugh subsided into tears when we found the perfect thing, a pie tribute. We imagined everyone she had made a pie for donation to a hospice family or a woman’s shelter in her name. But remember, a Kroger pie is not a Hazel pie.
Henny eating homemade Lodi applesauce, with coffee cake in waiting.
Carrie, Hazel and Kristin
Hazel doted and loved on her grandchildren and great grandchildren with excitement. Our families sat perched on her shelf across from her chair, photos changing as we change, and eager to share new photos with any visitors. Many of our the grandchildren’s stories about Hazel included food and her passing on the ways she made things, a desperate attempt to keep a piece of her though our taste buds. Never afraid to learn something new when several of her grandchildren became vegetarian or a great granddaughter was found to have an egg allergy she found ways to adapt her old recipes for them. A while ago Kristin spent a day learning the art of homemade noodle making. She was also grateful for her Tuesday banjo lessons where she and Carrie joined grandma and Jean for dinner and a mini banjo concert after. Kristin found grandma’s voice and toe tapping endearing even with her off key notes and not quite perfect pitch; they sang their hearts out together.
GG and daughter Ruthie video chatting with Sarah and Jonny
After just having the recipe for butter milk cookies wasn’t enough Amy traveled hours to get a direct lesson because hers didn’t taste quite right, meaning just like grandmas. David loved the beating it took to make him sea foam candy, a special childhood memory for him. Hazel always looked forward to the videos and pictures that her son in law Fred would share with her. Video chats with the great grandkids made her beam.
4 Generations at Zaharako's
   Spending time with Hazel was always quality, and not just for the food. In 2009 Jenn came out to be with her during a fairly serious surgery. For Jenn it wasn’t anything extravagant but it was so personal, just hanging out with her chatting the night away like two girlfriends at a slumber party, dozing off occasionally during the lulls in conversation to awake again to more chatting. Hazel’s company was always good for stories. With her accurate memory her charming story telling was never boring nor stale. Last March, Steven signed up for the Story Corps Project with the Smithsonian American Folk Life Center. They send out recorders to Americans to tell their stories to capture the American voice and experience. Over two days he recorded all the stories he could fit in as well as messages for family members. Such a lasting tribute! It was transformative for Steve to have these intimate, emotional moments with his grandma. 
When he was seriously ill this winter I found the interviews on his Ipod and played them for him, her voice brought him comfort and peace. When I told Hazel about it she cried and was grateful as she couldn’t be there with him.
  Living close Kristin and Steven had the advantages of weekly sleepovers complete with homemade caramel corn and spooky movies, but even the grandchildren in Toledo; Amy, David and Jenn, knew the unique gift their grandmother was. Many people love you in your life but none will be more genuine than the way Hazel both freely and openly received your love and the whole-hearted non-judgmental way she returned it. She, without reserve would tell you the things she appreciated about you, and she’d do this often.
In recent years Hazel’s daughter Jean moved her into her home gifting her 12 years of independence, a sometimes challenging thing to live your adult life with your mother but a gift all the same. Jean will miss their mandatory breakfasts together and early evening Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy matches. With Hazel’s sharp mind even up to her last week she solved all of the word jumbles in faster time then Jean, Kristin and Carrie combined.
As for my connection with Hazel? I’m her grandson Steve’s wife, but she loved me as if I were always connected. I feel she really saw me. We had such honest conversations and I miss that already. For my dad, who’s mom died almost two decades ago, she was a surrogate mom. It came him comfort to eat her food and kid with her of her Kroger pies. From my mom they were kindred spirits and they liked to joke together bringing out her sassy side.

She taught me to quilt, we completed several together for the great grandkids before she was no longer able to do a full one alone. The evening before her weakness took her over she handed off to me her last quilt; a sampler that featured a block from many of her quilts. I scrambled to ask all of my quilting questions before I could no longer. I believe she put it out knowing I’d “put my
stitches down” and finish it. I got it turned once before she was gone. There are many of her last stitches showing struggle and desire to finish what she started. The frame bears the wear of hands and as I finish the last blocks I will touch these places to connect again with my grandma. A great, independent, strong woman. A faithful servant to the lord, steadfast in prayer and in her lifelong love for Carl, her daughters, grand children and great grandchildren all helped her die without fear. I will miss you so much!

Monday, September 24, 2012

McFly Squashed?!

Dear McFly, 
What the heck!  The weekend before baby sister was born we took you to the Smithville festival and annual car show.  We have been looking forward to this since the great all day fun we had last year.  When we drove up this year we could tell things were different.  Last year had a few bounce houses, a ton of cars and was spread out a lot more, there was a storm coming soon, and we all seemed to start out in cranky moods.  We drove up hoping to find the DeLorean we saw there previous to your Back to the Future obsession.  We had been telling you for weeks that we were going to go to this and see a real life DeLorean so you were pretty pumped pulling into the parking lot.  We got out and went to the cars and I spotted it first in the middle of your quickly shouted, "Where is it! Where is it!"  From the minute I said, "There it is!"  withdrew and got very quiet and statue-like.  We couldn't get you to pull out of it.  So the owners were very nice but you wanted nothing to do with them.  You told me you were angry they were even there and that there even was an owner and that you couldn't buy it.  So you laid limp on the side of the car. 
Where did my little ham go?  Here were were, you in your McFly get up in the midst of a real DeLorean and you couldn't move?  At one point when I tried to get you to stand up by the car you feel to the ground an laid there.  

Better yet when I tried to remove you from sitting in the car door you held on for dear life nearly ripping off the weather stripping around the door!  Holy cow! My guess is that wouldn't be an inexpensive repair on an old DeLorean!  
The owner even offered you a DeLorean Back to the Future match box car and you turned it down!!!  Were you just so overwhelmed by excitement you didn't know what to do?  Who knows.
We got to the car and you cried that you wanted to go back.  We were done with the day in around 30 minutes.  But hey! as least you got to look at a DeLorean. Daddy asked the lady if we could take some fall pictures with it to which they got excited about and said sure!  So we will see...
You're sure a squirrel sometimes.
Love, Mama

Saturday, September 22, 2012

First Library Visit

Dear Peep and Zellie Luz,
We had our first visit to the library together and it went great!  It was raining so you said we needed to all pull our helmets up (hoods).  We took a picture together before going in.
Peep you were such a good big boy.  Mama bumped into a friend/former co-worker and you sat down and let us talk.  You were so patient!  I was so proud!  Then we went to grab some books and play in the activity room for a while.  You shared with others and played nicely with a little girl.  You earned a special drink at the coffee shop across the street.  Next week is week three of Hazellie's life thus we will return to get her own library card, like I did with you at three weeks.  I am sure Henny will have lots of suggestions for you on the best board books.   (OH LORD IT IS DIFFICULT TO WRITE DIRECTLY TO BOTH OF YOU SO IT IS CLEAR WHICH YOU I AM TALKING ABOUT!)
For this library time, Zellie, hung out in the baby bjorn snug and deeply asleep.  This is just where I like ya on a chilly day, as long as Henny has is hot little hand in mine.  Ah, now that is a sign of a great day.
Love, Mama

What's Up Doc?

Dear Zellie, 
We had your first doctor's check up the day after we brought you home from the hospital.  You did great.  Since you've pooped a lot already you were way past the tar poopies and into the regular curdled yellow gunk.  A crazy thing to be excited about but...hey, you're growing up already baby girl.  You were so chill and let the doctor do what he needed with little fuss.  Like your big bro Henny (click to see Henry's first appointment pics) I will take a photo of you at each of your first appointments in the baby scale basket.  We've learned already that you like to be held closely, a switch for us as Henny really liked to be held then promptly wanted his space.  You checked out perfect and healthy.  Your birth weight was 6lbs 11oz and you were in the acceptable range for weight loss at 6lbs 3oz.  
Can't wait to see how much you've grown at your two week appointment!  Henry commented just this morning that Boingy Furry is starting to get fatter  (this is what he has taken to call her, I'll address that matter in a later post, just don't know if I am up for it yet.)  I can't wait for ya to start interacting with us more.  You're a spectacular present wrapped in lots of layers of pretty papers we are waiting to get open.  2 weeks off the wait to really start to meet you!  I can't wait!
Love, Mama

Friday, September 21, 2012

A Map to Hazel: Head to Finger Toes

Dear Zellie Luz, 
Welcome to our family!  Welcome to the family blog!  My first post dedicated to baby girl Hazel Lucille.  You were born on September 8, 2012 6lbs 11oz and 19 inches long.  It will take some weeks before I can write about the hospital experience with your strong birth mama WW.  She chose us for you.  We are so honored, humbled and grateful she did. 

You are the sweetest, most tender baby lady.  You barely squawk when you're hungry and sleep wonderful long periods at night.  
You have a crown of dark walnut down hair on your perfectly round head.  At times it hints at future waves and possibly loose ringlets.  The little crest that sticks up on the top, the calamity of two oppositely swirly cowlicks intersecting melts my heart.
 At birth your eyes were glossy black but over the last week they have lightened and are giving way to a pretty brown, appearing they may still lighten yet to dare I say close to, hazel?
Your skin is a silky and soft brown and I like to smoosh my nose into your pillow cheeks and and rest there a minute.  Just today I noticed hints that you might be gaining some weight.  A little less crease on your leg and fingers with a little balling at the joints and you'll be wearing more of your 0-3 month clothes very soon!  Eating, demanding 3oz most sittings will do that to you.  

Your nose is a special thing.  It is a perfect pugged triangle with perfectly shaped, flared heart nostrils.  My pleasure is rubbing noses with you and feeling it's waxy newborn texture.  
look at her heart shaped nostrils.
You have full pouted lips that your lil' tongue pokes through regularly.  You have squishy ears with a coating of fur at the tip tops that your brother likes to let people know about. 

The stub of your umbilical cord fell off the other day in the van...It is stored in the door handle right now.  Kind of gross!  I must remember to get that out when Daddy gets home.  What is left behind is an inie. 

The word around the house is you're a poop machine.  It is true, you go A LOT and your proud, yet tentative, big brother Henry rushes to get you diapers and wipes on command.  You have a nice smell without the need for perfumed soaps.    You have big toes that closely resemble thumbs on your feet they are so long, just like WW, as do your long fingers.  
You have already calmed our house down in many ways.  I can't wait for what is to come.  Don't worry about that big boy, when we aren't around he sneaks pats on your head and kisses your forehead. Hen really loves you, he just isn't ready for us to know it.  He will come around when you aren't sleepin' so much, but I am happy it rubbed off on him for a little while today.  He took a 3 hour nap of his own doing!

We love you Hazel nut!
Love, Mama  

I love that this post, number 451, is your first in a starring role.  In 3.5 years I was able to post that much about your brother.  I apologize now that you may suffer from second child syndrome and not get as many of all your own but you will have lots of photos!  I love you baby girl.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Introducing Baby Sister!

Last Thompson 3 photo just 3 minutes before seeing baby sister
Dear Son, 
This is a transitional post for our family, your life story from Mama's perspective encapsulated in this blog.  It is now that I announce the birth of dear daughter, sister Hazel Lucille Thompson, 6lbs 11oz, 19" long born September 8, 2012 in Indiana.  Her beautiful, thoughtful birthmom, WW, made the first parenting choice to place Hazel in our family after getting to know each other for two and a half months.  We were there at the hospital just minutes after she rushed her way into the world.  This post isn't about her just yet though.  In a sense it is a last post to you exclusively, as I work out how to make room and tradition on the blog and in our daily routines to include Hazel.

Thank you for the last 3 and a half years.  We are good buds.  Playing, creating, and reading our days away and learning together good behaviors from bad.  A piece of me is mourning the end of our days together, but I am excited for you to be a big brother and for sleepy, milky mouthed Hazel to wake up and join us in the fun.  Just know we didn't bring Hazel to our family to disrupt your world...but to enhance it.

So!  The days leading up to Hazel's birth you were very excited and showed it by choosing things for her and helping me set things up to take care of her when she arrived.  After getting up quickly upon the 8:02 am text, "Babys gona come," in the car as we made it to Greenwood you declared, "This is a great place to take baby sister!"  Daddy asked where you'd take her and you said, "The mall!"  Oh the difference of 10 minutes and reality!  10 minutes later we were in the hospital.  The nurse phoned the room and informed us the baby had been born and the afterbirth was being delivered.  Aye!  Mama sprinted down the hall.  I turned behind me to quickly see and hear Daddy yelling at you to come back as you jumped from his chair and dashed after me.  
A few minutes later you and daddy were entering the cleaned up delivery room.  You looked around and saw baby across the room in the incubator, nurses messing with her.  
Henry's body language is not hard to interpret
Your face was strained and you became a shy quite boy we don't often see.  You didn't want to touch her just yet and were relieved when Bahboo and Grandma P arrived.  They took you to uncle Gary's after a time.  When you returned a couple of days later you were missing Mommy and Daddy and at least touched sisters head.  Bahboo had to pull you in the room resting on top of a suitcase on wheels, which you didn't leave.  
The hospital has some hotel rooms up top so I spent some time with you jumping on the bed and begging for Henry kisses.  This perked you up and lifted your spirits.  You were ready to return to WW's room.  You were very proud of giving Hazel and her birth mom WW their special bunnies.  You had picked them out and made them, placing three hearts at the center and test squeezing the softness of their hugs.  
First Thompson 4 photo
On returning home we were a little worried that you were feeling sad about the changes to come.  Mama bought you a package of "booger" gummies.  What else could help a confused 3.5 year old than gummy booger?  
You needed Mama and Daddy so badly but "not with that baby in your hands."  The first night you were home in particular you did all sorts of wonderful helpful things like helping lay out blankets, get diapers and wipes, and to put the scoops of formula in the bottles.  You didn't want to get too close to "that baby."  I told you to give her some lovin'.  You said no! but I put her in her lamby seat and said, "Ok! That's fine, you will when you're ready."  I walked out of the room leaving you two together.  I looked out of the corner of my eye to catch you looking to see if I could see you.  I could but you didn't know and you placed your hands gently on the side of her seat and leaned over her with the sweetest of intent and the finest manners of gentle movements, puckered your your lips and softly kissed her forehead, looked at her a moment, then looked back up to see if we caught you.  You didn't know I did... I went to the kitchen with Daddy, Krispie and Currie and lost my breath.  It was so sweet and gentle I was overwhelmed.  Later I asked you to give her a kiss and you told me you did but that you would only do that in private.  
This lasted 20 seconds, maybe
I knew then you had complicated feelings swirling in your busy brain.  I think you and baby Hazel will be just fine, sure to be good buddies soon enough.  I am excited to see how you grow with this new change.  Never worry peep, you are still a mountain of importance to us...we haven't forgotten about you for a second and never will.  Thus add single child Henry to the pile of Henry's while you make this transition to brotherhood.
Love, Mama