Moving On

Dear Henry, 
A couple of weeks have passed now since Mommy and Daddy's friend Adam Cline died. Discovered in early elementary school through his gym teacher who observed some unusual coordination issues, Adam lived with Muscular Dystrophy.  MD is a disease that breaks down the muscles and nerves in the body.  He used a chair like Daddy but by the time he caught pneumonia he had a hard time speaking, his eye sight was becoming worse and his hearing was fading.  Adam had a filthy mouth, even as his ability to get words out diminished and one would think each one would be chosen carefully he spoke like a sailor.  We would have without a doubt had to try and censor him around your precious baby ears. This is what was lovable about him.  He was Buddhist and a poet too, a softer side that gave him patience and deep spirituality.  We will miss him.  His wife, Stacy, said how much he would have loved to meet you and to see Daddy and I parents.  After college many of Daddy's friends moved far away but would always gather around Adam's birthday to celebrate another year we got to have him around in his predicted shortened life span.  As Adam's disease progressed his ability to travel and hang out weakened and our birthday meetings became harder and more impossible to arrange.  The last time we were all together was about 3 years ago at Adam and Stacy's wedding.  The memorial for Adam was bitter sweet because it did bring most of his friends together again.  In our friend Cameron's eloquent speech at the memorial he mentioned that Adam had a way of bringing people together and he did.  We were finally able to introduce you to Cameron and Andre and this was a gift.  People were in love with you and passed you around all day playing with you and giving you all kinds of food Mommy wouldn't at 7pm, such as Adam's favorite Swiss cake rolls.  Mommy will have to make the rest of this post in a couple of parts because I'll tell ya, stories that surround getting together with Andre and Cameron can run long.  People don't get how to work Mommy's camera so the one shot I'm in with the group I'm explaining how to push the button and you are wailing.  

 

 

Have a peaceful journey Adam and I hope we teach Henry to value every moment as much as you did.
Love, Mommy

Fear Not

Dear Henry,
Vacuum, sheet drifting down, jello falling out of Mommy's mouth, robot activated, basket on head with a little roar...What do these things all have in common?  They once made you giggle and they now make you cry.   This week you discovered fear and apprehension.  It all started when Mommy took the basket we put all of your toys in, put it on my head and gave a little roar.  You looked startled, your eyes grew three times their size and the corners of your little mouth turned down making you look much like Hermey, the would be dentist elf in 
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.  (I couldn't find the scene where he is crying!)   Later I was feeding you a little strawberry Jello and Mommy was goofin' around and let a blob plop out of my mouth to splat onto your high chair try.  Again, you transformed from smiling to crying in a couple of seconds.  I felt so bad for being the instigator of the confused look on your face.  Mommy tried to show you it was only Jello but each subsequent time I let it fall from my mouth only made it worse.  Later in the day I was doing laundry.  Normally I will flip out the sheet and let it drift back down over our heads for a good belly laugh but this time you were in tears.  Really?  We use to love that play time playing peek a boo with the sheet.  The next day I took you to the kitchen with me and started to sweep.  Oh how in the old days the sweeper made you fall fast into a deep sleep.  Now the sweeper makes you stop in your tracks and book it 
over to my legs to hang there for dear life.  Tonight you were cruisin around the living room visiting your robot on the little kidney shaped table as you do every day, about 20 times a day.  Per usual you knock robot off of the table.  I hear you playing with it and soon you discover the switch and turn it on.  This is the first, and my guess the last time you will turn on Robot for a while.  You started screaming and skitted as fast as you possibly could onto my lap, thumb shoved snugly into your down turned lips.  Mommy tried to kiss robot and show you that he is our friend.  Kisses did not help the situation.  You were scared.  Mommy is sad to see this new development but also secretly happy that you jet for me to give you comfort and reassurance.  After all, that is what being a Mama is all about so it makes me feel a little more legit.  As you go off into the world, as your defined world gets bigger and bigger you will have fears.  My four big dreams for your life are that you are self sufficient, confident, good to others, and that you go after your passions.  I hope in the process of living independently that you always feel like you can come back to Mama's arms until you are able to make sense of things and learn to tackle them on your own again.  I have faith that Papa and I are doing everything we possibly can to try and make this happen.  For now we will work on returning you and robot to friends.




Love, Mommy

 

Big Boy Baths

Dear Henry, 
Bath time has been the subject of many posts on your blog.  This is most likely because it is hard to top the cuteness of a splashing naked baby with a dewy face and slicked down hair.
There are new developments on this front.  You no longer will sit in the sink downstairs and you will no longer sit in cousin Johnny's old tub, therefore you are now sitting on the bottom of the real bathtub with water up to your butt.  The first time Mommy and Daddy were a bit silly and didn't have a non-skid mat on the bottom of the tub and your little bum slipped and slid after those rubber duckies the entire time.  With the non-skid mat you sit still for the most part and splash your little heart out. Each time you get in the tub you seem to want to stay longer.  Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful you don't want to be filthy and sour smelling, I just have to change my clothes afterward because they are soaked from your glee filled frolicking.  These are the days I dreamed of.

Here is a photo of your reflection in the metal thingy at the end of the tub....

Love, Mommy
ps... click on the following links to revisit the previous bath posts.
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3
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5

J and Jmom and the Boys

Dear Henry, 
We had another nice visit with J, Tommy and Uriah.  Jmom and one of J's nieces were able to come over to get a look at all of your growth since we last saw her.  Tommy was anxious to hold you.  Mommy cleaned J's carpet with our little shampoo-er and went to lunch at a Mexican restaurant.  It was really good.  You stole Uriah's beans with one swoop of your little paw and didn't seem phased while sucking on a lemon.
Here are a couple of photos. 

Always happy to see everyone.  J and I have become good friends and for that, and you of course, I am really happy.

Love, Mommy

Artsie Fartsie

Dear Henry,
A couple of weeks ago our friend's dad asked your Daddy if he would speak to his IU class on diversity about living with a disability.  Daddy agreed and so while he was in class we went to the IU art museum to look around.  I had wanted to take you for quite some time but parking can be such a bear on campus I just hadn't gotten around to it.  You are so observant and like to look around at people and things I knew you would enjoy it.

I was right!  We started out in the African section.  There were rich textiles, baskets and pots.  Not really my thing, but you LOVED looking at them as I carried you around to each piece.  You wanted to pet the fabrics and you put your face really close to the glass cases to see the pots with the bumps and designs on them.  I did really like that most of the pieces were used in daily life so the honed sheen of the basket's handles rubbed by the families that filled them with grains showed.  This is the kind of thing that makes my mind wander, thinking about people of different times and cultures.  Mommy read every other three descriptions to you.  You listened like a seasoned student and I enjoyed your wide darting eyes.
I believe your favorite piece was a sculpture in the modern art collection.  You looked at it intently, started "talking" and reaching out to it.  The sculpture was a human figure riding a horse (sorry! I'm unable to find the artist or title to make a link.)  
Your second favorite piece was a painting done by Diego Rivera titled Danzante completed in the late 40's.  It has a man with a LARGE, colorful, feather headdress.  The colors dance off the canvas and it made you wiggle in my arms and stretch your little turtle neck it's way.  It didn't matter what direction Mommy turned you twisted so you were facing Rivera's work.  Rivera, married to Frieda Kahlo, typically painted LARGE murals depicting the life of the average worker and honoring the native heritage of the people of Mexico.  History has typically documented and painted the big names, men and the wealthy.  Rivera was a part of a movement driven to depict the common people, the workers that make everything happen and to honor a rich native heritage that Mexican's were supposed to ignore even existed.  Mommy has seen many of Rivera's large murals in Mexico City first hand.  Mommy always liked Rivera's work because it is what I always thought history class should be about...the everyday people.  You can get lost in the details and stories he tells in his art. I can imagine it would blow your little mind to see these gigantic paintings.  It is my hope that someday you and I can stand side by side to study them over as Mommy did with Crappaw and Grandma P. 

Our time was up and we walked back to meet Daddy.  We waited outside the classroom for a while, sitting in a spot Mommy sat many times during college. It was neat to sit there with you.  Students waiting for their classes to start couldn't get enough of you so they smiled and talked to you.  Mommy peeped through the tiny window of the classroom door to see that Daddy had all of the students' attention and I felt VERY proud of Papa. A few minutes later the professor opened the door and insisted I let the class meet you.  We slipped in and a room full of smiling faces shifted to you.  At the end of class a student came up to me to tell me how absolutely adorable you are, as if I didn't know!  

 After Daddy's class we strolled to the Union for lunch and so Daddy could tell us all about his experience.  We had a nice lunch, a cookie and a rice crispy treat and went home. 

Perhaps someday art won't be your thing but Mommy wants you to have lots of different experiences at all ages so you will be able to figure out what your passion is.  Mommy and Daddy are so lucky to get the honor of helping you to discover your talents.
Love, Mommy

New Friends

Dear Henry, 

Last week Mommy's Auntie Glo (Crappaw's sister) and her friend since college Mo came to visit us.  It turned out to be a really fun Saturday.  
Mo's brother, Michael, lives in Bloomington too with his wife, Megan, and their little boy, Devlyn, who was born just days after you.  Mo has always suggested that we should meet them because it seemed we have so much in common but the opportunity never came up.  This summer we were talking with one of Auntie Kristin's friend about you and he was talking about this little boy and it turned out to be Devlyn.  I took this as a sign and as we decided what we were going to do we suggested that we all meet for lunch.  

We met Auntie Glo and Mo at the Farmer's Market.  It was a beautiful day and the market had soup tasting.  We tried about 5 samples.  Some of them were okay but the most marked thing about this is your amazing drive to try all foods, any food... you're a little garbage disposal.  We walked around a bit, ate some fresh kettle corn, danced by the guitar player and then decided to get something to eat.  We ate at The Bakehouse.  Mo was very sweet and you took a liking to her throwing her flirty smiles and rubbing her arm.  It didn't hurt that she shared her turkey and cranberry sandwich with you!  As we were finishing up Michael, Megan and Devlyn showed up.  As always you became super excited to see another little person.  You wanted to touch him and say hello.  You each had some avocado, your first, and of course you loved it.  

 

Mo was right!  We hit it off instantly and didn't run out of things to talk about.  We spent the afternoon chit chatting then decided to take you boys for a swing in the park.  At first you swung side by side but the adults couldn't help but notice that you boys could swing back to back. 

 

 

 This would be more cute than we could all handle so that's what we did.  We put you in Devlyn's swing and you stayed back to back for about 15 minutes.  You were both getting sleepy so it was too cute!  Then you realized he was behind you and started trying to feel his head and face. 

Auntie Glo and Mo had to get going and we needed to get home so we said our goodbyes and promised to get together soon.  You took a trip down the slide making your hair fill with static and you waved bye bye and we were off.

It was good to see Auntie Glo and Mo but it was really awesome to make new friends... especially since Mommy and Daddy share so much in common with Devlyn's Mommy and Daddy AND hopefully you and Devlyn can share lots in common growing up.  After all, you are two likable mini guys!

click here for more photos on flickr
Love, Mommy

Brush-ah, Brush-ah, Brush-ah

Dear Henry, 
There has been much discussion of your teeth here; how many, how quickly, how painful, how they chew on everything, how sharp and now how you need to brush them.  If you have teeth Peep you have to brush them.  To use the words of an old marketing campaign for Crest, you must destroy the cavity creeps especially now that your mouth has become Toothopolis.  

Mommy holds your head and brushes the tops and bottoms then I give you the opportunity to do it yourself.  

Your toothpaste isn't laden with all those fancy things like whitening agents, sparkle crystals, floruristat, or even foaming agents but you don't mind it.  You let Mommy brush while Daddy brushes his teeth then you're done with it when he is done with it.  I was looking at our toothbrush holder the other day and felt compelled to take a photo because it made me think of us.  It looked like a little toothbrush family.  

I promised Daddy that I wouldn't write too much about our toothbrushes as it could come off a little strange but I think you can see our little family is all clearly represented.  
Love you!

Mommy

Two Two Two Toooo Cute! The Twins!

Dear Henry, 
Your new future buddies have arrived!  We have been a visitin' to Heather and Phillipe's AND Etienne and Sylvie's house (a FAMILY from our Adoption Support Group).  On October 28th, 2009 at 8:52 pm with Phillipe by their birth mother R's side those babies were born!  Heather joined them in recovery and thus their love affair began.  The babies came home five days later and Mommy had to cool her jets until the family put in some zzzzzz's and she had given them the proper amount of privacy (yeah right! I called way too much to be decent).  I can certainly remember how during the days following your birth Mommy and Daddy were very close to being real true zombies.  Then all at once we put in some pillow time and we came back to the real world, luckily before our flesh started dropping off and we craved brains.  eh em... Finally!  We get the call that we can come over and check "them" out and we ran, not walked over. 

Mommy stole a few photos of the babies while they slept.  

                                              Introducing the beautiful Sylvie 

                                                   and the dashing Etienne!

 You crawled around, explored their room and pulled up to the crib for your own peek.  

You eventually fell and bonked your head on their little tub and started to cry.  Poor tired Phillipe laid on the floor in front of you and put his hand out to you, you put your hand out to him and your tears dried up and a giggle took over.  Lise, Heather's sister, baked some awesome cookies and Mommy shared one with you fresh out of the oven.  While Heather's mommy was holding the babies you crawled up and stood at her leg to check them out.  Someday you will play and that makes Mommy so happy to think about.  Daddy was getting off from work and we needed some dinner and so did the new family so we met Daddy to eat and return later for him to meet the two new sweet cheeks.

 

On Returning, Daddy went into the living room with you while Mommy put up the ramps.  When I walked into the living room this is the scene I witnessed....

OH MY!  Mommy had to stifle it back, I saw four babies and happy faces.  Our little group has waited so long to see some results and here we were, in a room full of babies.  Matt and Eunice's son's birth mother is due in January!  We can't wait for news from Doug and Peter and for those contacts to begin for Nissy and Jim.  I can't imagine a group of people more excited to be parents.  Mommy pulled it back after threats from Mommy Brook because she was having her own struggles keeping the water works at bay.  It helped that I had to focus on keeping you from snatching Lily's hair off of her head with either your fists or your tongue and that the very musical Doug and Peter sang to the two of you Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes.

 

 

 

 

 

I know we will have lots of fun times in the future with these two characters.  We can't be happier for Heather and Phillipe, it is just not possible!  

Adoption is overwhelming all over again.  With each new addition I feel like I'm going to fall to my knees and keel over because it is so special and awesome. .. especially with the added gift of on going open relationships with our babies' birth families our lives and our previous concept of love is blown to bits.  It is humbling.  I wouldn't want it any other way.



Love, Mommy

Kitty Catty

Dear Henry, 

You love to chew on things... anything!  Paper is great but the side of the couch, your socks, my finger or anything! really anything will do.  You are getting a 7th tooth on your top right and a sneaky 8th on the bottom.  I suppose chewing helps you to relieve the pressure.  Right before you were born Mama tried REALLY hard to will herself to learn crochet or knitting because that is what she believes cute crafty mama's do.  I quickly discovered I can't will myself to make my hands magically produce a cute hat or an entire rhinoceros wrap like our good friends Mommy Brook and Mommy Heather can but I did crochet one square.  I left the square's tail loose and apparently stuffed it away, deep away in your play cabinet and you dug it out the other day.  You heard my echos calling you back out from deep within the recesses of the cabinet and you backed out to turned around with said square dangling from your mouth like a bird dog bringing master a retrieval.  We played with the sad excuse for a square for quite a while.  I would give you the dangly string end and get you to crawl away with it pulling out the stitches a little more each time.  You'd pounce on the string and pull some more until you grew tired and took a nap.  At least if Mama can't get a project put together she can give you some joy with her wonky stitches.

Love, Mommy

Henry's Head Gets Cold So He Needs Handsome Hats for His Huge Head

Dear Hank, 

Sorry... Mommy loves you in hats and you seem to not mind hats on your head.  Mommy needed something to do with you, as a result you had to muster up all of your patience to sit still for photos while I changed out your hats.    As you see you didn't make for the last photo.  I don't blame you. 

 

 

 

Love, Mommy