7 it is!

Dear Henny Bear, It is here!  Your birthday! Wednesday you turned 7. Whaaat!?  You love nothing more than celebrating your birthday and Christmas, only days have to pass before you ask how long before another one.  It isn't just the presents you love so much.  It is the focus on family and visits and cake and... okay, presents.  This year after your short day at school I took you to visit with J and your birth bros.  It was a rainy day and your nervousness had me swing by home to get a couple of toys you wanted to take to share. On the way home you said, "HEY! How did JoJo know to call YOU if she didn't know you already? That's a part of the story you've never told me! I just thought of that."  

I said, "Well, I have told you a million times but I'll tell you again.  I took a profile letter to my OBGYN doctor, that's the doctor that deals with pregnant woman and women body parts.  Two weeks later she got our profile letter and it had things about us and a free number she could call."  

"Did she call you then?"

"Nope, she shared our letter with friends and family and held on to it from September until Dec. 25th.  Then she called us around 5:30pm on December 25th and then we met Jan 3rd and started making a plan together for the baby."  

"Oh! 'cause I thought, "How did she know how to call you?"
It is funny how early and often I have told you the story of your early days but it was exciting for me that you finally had a question.  I let you know you could ask me or Daddy anything or even ask JoJo anything you wanted.  

Loaded up with your toys, we got to JoJo's new, cozy comfortable country cabin.  JoJo gave us a tour and when you made it to her room she showed you that her sock money was sitting at the corner post of her bed.  You thought that was pretty cool and she took it down to show you your little hospital wrist band and the pitiful white gown we had to borrow from the hospital because you pooped all over the take home outfit.  You thought it was funny to see how tiny the wrist band was.  She told you she loved holding you and your breath smelled like nothing, it smelled like life.  How beautiful is that?  I loved that you were able to share this with her.  

You played with T and Hazel played with Jo.  They got you a funny booger ball flinger and playdoh poop maker, perfect for a 7 year old.  We sang happy birthday and you all split a giant cupcake.  

It was a great visit but time to get home to Daddy for your requested pancake and bacon dinner.  Grandma Jean had been by earlier and left some chocolate pudding, your choice over a chocolate cake. 

You were SOOOO excited to open presents.  You got a Koosh ball, some magnetic thinking putty with a big magnet, a lego kit, and a powerful magnet set that has yet to make it to the house!  You were super excited and already coming up with ways to test it with Daddy.  

You love things you can manipulate with your hands like gadgets, hinges, putty, rubics cubes and transformers.
Last night Grandpa Tim and Trish stopped by with a super cool Tech Lego kit and cheeseburgers.  Hazel also got a little bed and little clothes for her Dora doll, a bonus for her and she hogged Trish in her room the entire time she was here.  You started the Lego kit with Grandpa Tim after getting your reading done for the night.  He was impressed with how you dug right in and got started with no reservations.  

So you're 7.  I can't really believe it.  Daddy and I have been talking about how 7 is next level kid, whole new world kid, the remembering kid, the start of your internal self.  This makes us lament and cling to every second of the kid protected from the real nastiness of the world.  (Adding 6 years old Henry to my pile of Henrys)  It is all so hard to believe we've been honored to love and care for you for 7 years now.  The doctor's office said you're 4'1" and 56.8 lbs. I don't know where all of that flesh and bone came from, all of that intelligence and humor, all of that deep down sweetness and vulnerability, all of that curiosity, and personality, but I sure do adore you, love you.  I am grateful for you, love laughing with you, and creating and exploring with you.  You've learned to blow bubbles and read and write and think.  

I'd be nowhere without you.  So, I am honored to spend another birthday with you.  

Round 4 on Sunday with much of the family together to celebrate you.  What a fortunate 7 year old you are to have so much love.
Love, Mama

Adding J's words on our relationship and you at 7. 
It's hard to believe it's been a whole 7 years since I gave birth to this beautiful, wonderful, smart, funny, curious, loving awesome Super Stud little boy! 👶🏽 I can remember the exact way he smelled and felt in my arms the day he was born!! 😍 As I placed him into the loving arms of the woman I chose to be his Mother, ( I couldn't have made a better choice than her) I knew that I had made the most selfless decision a mother ever could! I chose life for my child, a better life than I could've eve dreamed he'd have!! 🙏🏽 Playing and talking with him today has truly made my heart and soul so full of joy! For him to know where he comes from and his heritage has always been very important to me, him, and his Mom! When he asks me questions about when I was pregnant, delivering him, or his birth family members, with such curiosity, innocence and love, I know that he is proud of my decision for him, and loves me as much as I do him! I love my open adoption and am truly happy I still get to be a major part of his life and share the Holidays and every other day with not only him but his family, My family!!

-You and Steve are the the most incredible parents I know, and deserve a kick ass baby momma, such as myself!!! && Wendy of course!! You all make such a beautiful family, and I couldn't imagine my life without you guys, nor would I ever want to! I know all of your families gratitude, and there is no family more deserving!! I love you so much and I thank you for loving me even through all my craziness!!! 

Is Santa Real?

Dear Elfies, 
Oh!  The holidays, they can throw the best of us off and when the best of us are at our worst the sweetest Christmas pictures are hard to accomplish.  Hazel, it was you this time.  You were off your smiling game...  We went for Santa pictures.  Mommy told you both ahead of time that you do not have to sit on Santa's lap just stand near him...I mean why would I ever require you to sit on some guy's lap you don't know?  Wouldn't I normally saying that is not a good idea?  However, Henry, you let me know you were going to and so was Hazel.  No wait in the Santa line was perfect for the mood we were feeling in the late afternoon the day before Christmas Eve.  Hazel, you were not wanting to go near him so Henry hopped up on his lap and froze, forgetting to smile for the picture before a reminder from the sidelines.  Hazel, I sat you next to Henry...Hazel you stopped screaming when we told you that Santa would give you a candy cane and exchanged the wails for a sad getting through it expression.  

After, you both got your candy cane and the pictures were done, you'd think you'd be happy...Hazel you were but Henry let Santa know it wasn't fair that the only candy canes left were broken.  

Santa shook the bag and said, "That's all I have so if you want one, take one."  Subtext, "Or get the hell out of here kid!"  Whatever, Hazel yelled, "Thank you," and was willing to give Santa a high five.  Speaking of Santa.  I'm pretty certain we won't be able to crank another year out of the narrative. 

   At the Independent Adoption Center Christmas Party you declared that Santa was weird because his beard is just too white.  He, however, had large unbroken candy canes of various flavors...you gave him points for that.

Hazey, you could care less...wouldn't go near Santa but you did try to color pictures and I came around the corner to get our coats and you were entertaining a room of people by dancing to Frozen's, "Let It Go!" 

Hazel and Nick

You both enjoyed all of the kids, running the halls and coloring pictures together.  It was good seeing Hazel's birth brother and his brother, Nick and Ryan. 

Nick, Keegan, Ryan and Henry...Hazel in the way back

Hazel and WW

After the party we had a very nice dinner with your birth mom WW, Hazel, Nick's family and our best buds Eunice and Keegan.  Wendy bought you a great little tent just your size and Henry a remote control car.  So sweet.  We gave her an angel and a little sign with words about being family forever no matter what.

Henry, you later told me you did not trust the IAC Santa, more about the white beard making him not real, it should have a little brown in it.  
Then, this year a school chum mended a major fissure in a no Santa tale another scrooge from school tried to put in your head.  I loved the reasoning your buddy B came up with to not believe K.  The other day in the car you told Mommy that K told you and B that there is no Santa Claus, he isn't real.  Well, You and B were not buying that...and I don't know if K asked you all to prove it or not but B's logic in support of a Santa being real was, "There has to be a Santa Claus or else it wouldn't be fair if your parents eat all those cookies by themselves, so there definitely HAS to be a Santa Claus!  Parents wouldn't do that."  That worked for the time but now you've asked me every day since.  Not wanting to lie, I pulled a switch-a-roo and asked, "What do you believe?  It only matter's what you believe."  When a persistent, "BUT IS HE REAL," screamed across the car I thought quick and said, "YES, St. Nick was a real guy and over the years it has taken on bigger and changed meaning." Shew.  But Sorry B...the parents do eat all the cookies, we even throw some out the back door if we can't eat them all.  It may be worse finding out the latter than the true facts on Santa, or lack there of.  Love, Mommy     
2013
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2009

Annual IAC Picnic 2013

Dear Kidlets, 
Well, it goes without saying that this year's picnic was not as eventful and fun as last year.  I mean jeeze! It is hard to to top linking up with a woman looking to make a plan for their baby and matching a week or so later.  So the 4 of us were there last year, only Hazelita was still growin' warm and snug inside of Wendy!  So grateful for the opportunity to be your mama.  This was a great picnic, complete with lots of playground time, your best buds the twinks, and a big sugary Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cake.  We had a great time laughing at the kids watching the animal show, hanging back with hesitance at first then crowding in for a closer look by the end.

The presenter from Silly Safari's was sensational with the kids keeping them engaged the entire time.  The twinks got to handle the gator!  

Henny, you were able so feed a kinkajou a fruity snack but was not down with silly guy making kinkajou's tail a mustache on your face!   

Nick, Hazel's birth sib, got to touch a giant, powerful looking owl! So much fun!  We enjoyed visiting with WW! and the McKeon's too.  There were many new families and newly waiting families there this year, which made it very exciting and you quickly found several new kids to play with. 

WW gave Hazel lots of snuggle and kisses but we need to visit soon as we didn't get to talk to each other a lot and I missed that part.  

 

So grateful to see everyone, to the Independent Adoption Center and for the difference a year makes.

Love, Mama 

Pride!

Dear Kids, 
If there is any lesson we want you to learn at an early age it is self confidence in who you are and that you have a place in this world.  Not everyone you come across will support this notion, some will even directly try to tear you down and pull that awareness from you.  It is our goal to start young with the two of you establishing that everyone has a fit in this world.  This is why we support the rights of others to be happy and share love with their soul mate, no matter what package he or she may come in.  These first years of your lives our nation has been debating the rights of same sex soul mates to marry.   Daddy and I can't really wrap our heads around why it is a debate.  We have people we love who have found their soul mate in a same gender partner and we can't imagine them with anyone else.  At the very least the supreme court recently decided to support unions of same sex partners in part to protect children and give their families equal benefits under the federal law.  There are many mom, mama/ papa, daddy homes out there and if their parents' rights aren't protected than neither are their children's.  Now it is up to the state debates for what they each will allow.  Unfortunately, here in Indiana it is a depressing outlook thus far, with Mike Pence saying, "it is my belief that the traditional definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman should stand."  There has also been the grave sadness at the idea a couple of the same sex could be fined up to $10,000 and taken to jail (up to 2.5 years) for filing a marriage license on grounds the license only allows a blank for a male name and female name, thus filing the license with two male or two female names could be illegal fraud, a class D felony.  It goes further to prosecute a clerk or clergy member that would except the "fraudulent" license.  Really you ask?  Really!  I hope that by the time you read this our federal attitude toward this issue trickles down to our individual states and your response will be, "REALLY Mommy?! People did that?"  
All of this gave us cause when the IAC asked us to participate in the annual Indy Pride Parade we did!   Not only was it fun but we were treated awesome and had a great time. Possibly demystifying how hard many same gender couples feel it is for them to become parents, we spoke with many couples about your adoptions.  We walked in the parade behind the IAC banner supporting all families so that ours in turn could be honored.  

Henry, you thought we were at circus, due to the super duper pink group behind us.  You enjoyed collecting the necklaces and all the candy people threw at us.  Hazel sat in the carrier on my chest smiling and waving at all the people yelling at her, "OH MY GOSH! BABY WITH GLASSES!"  Hazelita, you really have a future in parades. 

We ate lots of bad food and Henry got to jump on the trampoline contraption for the first time.  So cool!  

On returning from getting a snow cone I found Hazel surrounded by some adoring admirers from Ohio.  

We were honored to be there and are excited to attend again next year.  We want you both to be tolerant and loving toward other people.  We hope this is a good start.
Love, Mama